'By Mutual Agreement'
So we're trying to go 'cold turkey', this person in my 'other life' and me. Its bloody hard, not least because she is a work colleague, but also we've known eachother for a few years as good friends, before it got to this stage, and so we still chat and share and mix in the same crowd ( who have no idea whats going on, thankfully ).
Keep singing 'Its a Motherfucker' by the Eels, in my head. Haven't been able to get rid of it for about 5 days now; How bizarre? Well, actually no, cos it just seems that yet again, a song lyric has captured a piece of me so perfectly, with minimal effort / lyric .
Anyway - progress check - the cold turkey is going well so far. We're kind of checking with eachother like when a friend stubs their toe- 'Are you sure you're OK?' - that kind of thing
posted by T | 9:07 pm
6 Comments:
I have to say, even though we just met by blog, I am proud of you. It's not easy doing all this and I can't say I've been in the same situation, but I'm proud of you man. I'll go downstairs and have a shot of whiskey on your behalf. Cheers and have a good weekend!
I applaud your intent and am pulling for you...buuuuut (and it's a big but) it's not really cold turkey if you still see this person daily. It's actually harder than that.
If you hang out and chat too much it's easy to remain emotionally connected (ie: you doing okay? yeah, you?) and therefore still in the relationship to an extent.
As long as that tie is still there, the rest of the kit and caboodle could go along with it before you know it. It can seem very cruel. Especially if the other person moves on and you are party to it. It's really self-preservation.
I know you'll hate my advice (so you know it's for real) Try to distance yourself completely. It's tough advice I know. But, if you're truly and indeed committed to stopping the affair, you'll do it because you know I'm right.
=)
Keep posting to the blogs if you need the strength. We'll help you. Even in AA they have buddies that get them through the tough times. This is not much different.
And now you made my day,you put me on your list! Now if I can figure out how to do it...
Paintergirl; Thanks for the support - mines a large Jack D with a small Jack D chaser...
Hey Lauren; Stop it! you're too good at this. Forget the teaching thing you thought about. You've missed your vocation as a counsellor!! Seriously tho' you don't have a big but(!) in that your advice is sound, but due to the nature of the work, we can't not communicate. U R right, That would be the best thing, and it is hard sometimes, but we don't socialise at work now, and its just ( alright; mostly just ) work-talk, but we're still good. One day at a time...
I appreciate the continued support and advice you give; please keep watching this space so I don't fall from grace...
Mmmmm, Jack...mmmmm....
Now: Thanks for the butt compliment. Although you've not seen it...I know you are an observer and can see that.
Re: advice. I've been there. I am uniquely able to understand as anyone else that's experienced this sit. Not to mention I've had therapy too.
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