My Top Ten Stephen Wright Jokes...

(but not necessarily in that order)
10. If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
9. My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
8. My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
7. If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
6. I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
5. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
4. There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
3. When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
2. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? That guy who wrote that song wrote everything.
1.I intend to live forever.... So far, so good.

( Apologies to Mr Wright if I've mis-quoted - too busy laughing to notice my shite note-taking)